Fallen

                     What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I do anything right? Like all I want, is to try, try so hard to be perfect. But everytime I'm finally so close, I just fall back down. I am the fallen. There are times, when I do something wrong and I keep it all to myself instead. Other times, I just try so hard for everything to be okay, but I can't. I want to grab the sharpest thing is my path and stab it into my heart, into my chest. So I don't have to live, or care. Why am I so stupid? I want to punch so hard, that my knuckles bleed. I feel so disgusted by myself. The fact that I destroy, hurt and nothing else to everything around me kills me. Just let me be the fallen. I am due to be the fallen.

mmmm

                   CHYEAAH! Westview won their first game agaisnt Weston. Rugby Season, 2011. I'm so happyy. Well I was. I was SOOO fucking happy maybe about ten minutes ago.. but then I got this "mmmm LOL brb gonna shower i feel depressed for some reason"    

                          Firstly, that's pretty dry the way he just left me like that. I feel so small & useless. I feel like I did right after the switched me out during half time... I feel crappy. Why could just those few words hurt me so much? Why do they scare me? WHY DO THEY DEPRESS ME!? WHAT THE FUCK IF WRONG WITH ME!?

Can't keep my hands off youu

Cause' on the street, or under the covers.
We're stuck like two pieces of velcro.
At the park, in the back of my car.
It don't matter what I do.
No, I can't keep my hands off youu~

I rolls

                    It's so weird. You know, usually teenagers would be so into making out and getting into each other's pants, but it's not like that at all with Jack. It's funny.. Not "HAHA" funny, just funny. It's so nice to have a relationship with depth. To have someone care about you so much. I layed on top of him on a park bench. We just laid their, breathing in each other's scents.  No hand's in bad areas. His hands were on my neck & head making sure I was safe & comfortable. We rolled around a bit & even though out lips were a few centimeters away, we giggled & talked into each other's breathes. When we tells me I'm beautiful infront of my friends, I hide myself because I get shy. I GET SHY!!?! Yes, yes.. You know, he's the first guy ever to say he's IN love with me. It was wow, just wow. He makes me feel amazing. I love it. I love him. ~

Toughh

                        Soo... It's been a couple of days sicne I've made a post. I know. It's been tough lately. I think I'm stressing myself out too much lately. Too much work, too little sleep. >_< Wonderful. My friend Lily, she's extremely worried about herself. She told me she has trouble breathing, but the doctor said their was nothing wrong with her. She's scared something will happen to her. I don't blame her for being so scared of anything happening. I would be too. While on another note, my boyfriend's dad needs sugery.. & his dad won't tell him why. He still hasn't found out. Jack seems to out of it when he talks about it.. It worries me. Another thing is, I haven't had a good night's rest for the past week. I have very little sleep now & everytime I move it's like slow motion. So weird. One of my friends has become a Pot-Head.. I am currently very feverish. I seem to be losing my appitites, & i seem to be looking like crap the more I try. Theres SOO much more that's screwing me over, but I feel like I might pass out soon.. LOVELY!~