Hurt Heart

It's funny in a sadist way. "My heart hurts" It's the line I use when I've been hurt by the person I've been talking to. I tell them i'll lay down. All they said is "GET BETTER". I wouldn't have felt that way if you didn't make me feel that way. It's a squishing of my heart, my lungs breather shallow, goosebumps cover my body, my throat tastes like vomit. Sometimes, I want to sneak out of my house and cry alone in a park. Laying down. Pretending I'm dying. I'm not a happy person. :) I like to act like that to people. Only two people can make me just plainly happy. It's sad how I like to close myself off to the world, but alot of people don't try to reach me. Oh, how my  heart hurt. It hurts so bad. I wish people would realize, sometimes I'm not asking out to bother you, but I thought you'd be please if I did something that would make you proud. I just needed help. It's okayy, I let my heart hurt alot. You'd think that you'd worry alot more when someone's vital organ wasn't feeling well. Nobody does though. It's fine if my heart hurts. I'm used to it. I learned, others are more important than myself. So it's fine. Let my heart hurt. I'm not important. You are. Everyone is. But me. My heart hurts. It's fine, nobody askes. Nobody cares. It hurts more than you think. The pangs of pain for trying to make myself better for everyone. It's fine. I'm okay. It's my fault. Let me cry, let me die. My heart hurting will never go away.

Let me wilt

I don't know why, but I have this thing about not worrying people about my feelings. I don't want to be called stupid, or selfish. I want everyone to be happy, everyone but me. I feel sad alot, but I smile. I hate the world, but I love my friends. Most nights I cry, days I smile, for people like you. I feel ugly and hated. My heart bleeds. I teell people I don't feel well, like I'm sick. I want to vomit out blood. When I don't feel "well", it means I don't feell loved, I want attenetion, I just want someone to ask me how I feel. Nobody does. They just say "get better". My heart bleeds more everytimes. Just tell me you don't want my feelings. Let me wilt. I'm just a little girl, who dreamed of a little world.