Without you

                   Without you here... I feel lonely. I feel like shrinking away from all of my friends. They tricked me, saying that you were moving. I pretend cried. Then I really did cry. They scared me. I couldn't wipe away the tears. Not on the inside atleast. Empty and cold, is all I feel. It's all I've felt lately. I think I'm getting sick though. I'm not sure if it because you're not here or because I miss you to much. My stomach cleches, flips, twirls... but the thing is, I'm always thinking about you. How worriful of me. I know you're okay. I know you're fine. I guess it should be normal that I worry so much. It is said, it is unhealthy for a couple to spend EVERY moment together.. But it's evenly as bad to spend days, maybe even full weeks not saying anything to each other, because we can't. Why does it hurt to bad to know I have you, but I don't get to be held by you.. Fix this please when you get back. Please.

Dying Flower

           "It was as if a beautiful bloomed flower died the next minute. It makes you want to think, 'What just happened here?'  Everything is going so well, everything was so perfect, and then out of nowhere, it just turned out to be a fantasy. The person you once loved, is out the door. The best relationship you thought you had, was just a dream. Now you look at the broken peices of a delicate sculpture, and you don't even know where to begin fixing it." - Te.Qu             Oh how I know my hunny. It hurts. You and I my friend have the horrible path of being hurt by friends. It's not an easy thing to mend. Sometimes when it is fixed, it was all lies. They never cared. They hated you all along, just feeling sorry. They wanted attention. They wanted love. They wanted to be the good guy. Well, you know what? Screw that. I hate them all. They aren't good, their liars, haters, burners, devils. They hate, because there is no love in their hearts. They are miniture scosiopaths. Not about to really love. They want attention. Total sadist. They can go to hew.

Wish you were here

                     I can be tough, I can be strong, but with you, it's not like that at all. There's a girl that gives a shit, behind this wall you just walk through it & I remember all those crazy things you said.
 You left them running through my head. You're always there, you're everywhere. Right now I wish you were here. All those crazy things we did. Didn't think about it, just went with it. You're always there, you're everywhere, but right now I wish you were here.Damn! What I'd do to have you here. I wish you were here. Damn! What I'd do to have you near. I love, the way you are. It's who I am, don't have to try hard. We always say, say it like it is & the truth, is that I really miss you.

Step-Brats

                        Step-Brat... This is a boy, that my childhood friend Kelly has to live with. He is her step father's son. So far, he stole her money, took her expencive things she has, called her fat, insulted her, insulted me & called me fat AND CALLED ME UGLY!! =__= & that brat, hasn't even met me. He insulted my boyfriend too. Like wth? I swear, I already want to set him on fire.Why is he saying those things? Like dude, who duh hew are you to be insulting people. I want to push him off a building. HE pushed Kelly. Mike (Kelly's real brother) is currently on my side. I will beat the crap out of that kid. I don't care if he's seven, then maybe you shouldn't be so rude to the people who let you stay in their hoem IN CANADA for free. Would you rather have fun in your poor house back in Vietnam eating your flies in your pho? If he does, he can go back. Or be killed by us. My boyfriend speak viet.. I don't. SOO, if that brat insults me, Jack's good in viet, so S'ALL GOOD! (y) & plus, i run after him to bet him down. -evil face- ONE DAY HE WILL DIE! If he insults me one more time, or EVER touches Kelly. EVER!

CDS Love Triangle

                 The CDS Love triangle is a love triangle, with this guy I've known him in middle school (Grade Seven).His name is Kosal A.K.A. "Chhin". He is the C component to this love triangle. Davi, is an innocent looking tiny girl I've known since my first year of high school. She is the D in this game. Now here comes what made it a love triangle. Shameer.. Shameer, is the S of them. Also, my ex-boyfriend.... -cough- Well, I'vek nown him sicne grade eight..

                 Chhin & Davi, are an item. Ya know, couple. MHUA! Lovey Dovey. Over a year they've been dating. Yeahh, long time in teenage world. So anyways, last year, around the last month of school. Davi had feelnigs for Shameer, Shameer had feelings for Davi.. OH NO!! BUT, oh yes... If you met Chhin, you'd understand who sad it is. He's one of THE nicest people you'll ever met. He's so sweet. He sang two songs for her up on stage, alone. "I don't want my love to go to waste, I don't want another pretty face". Too bad that's what he got.. ANYWAYS, Davi didn't want to brake up with Chhin because he's such a great guy. He really is. Chhin & Shameer are best friends.. so yeahh.... The rumors have been flying. Everyone already thinks their having a fling, but nobody knew for sure... This is where the hidden drama gets in. My friend.. lets call her Vee, she caught then kissing, but Davi pushed Shameer away. Was it because she heard someone, or was it because he forced hismelf on her? Depends on your opinion. If you watch the little signs, you'd notice how bad this is. She's always looking for Shameer, rarely Chhin. ALWAYS.. You'd understand if you knew about everything taht happens.... I feel sad for Chhin, nobody has the heart to tell him about this.....

Foster Care?

                    Okayy, I know this is a really bad thing to sab, BUT.... Honestly, I think it would be better I was in foster care then living here. It's horrible. After summer time, I've hated living here. my dad nearly broke my sister's hand and arm into little peices. He smashed the door on her arm and hand, forcing her out of the room. After he hung up the phone call, he slammed on my sister's room, dragged her out into the hallway. He slapped her across the face.. When I walked out he threatened to kill her. He really does scare me, so much. He told us not to make him mad, because one day he'll go crazy and kill all of us. That it's just a matter of time before he does. Those days in summer, we'd cry in the washroom in fear that we might really die. HA! You wouldn't believe me considering that I'm usually smiling. It's true though. He pushed my mom on the floor when he got mad. The problem is, when she gets scared does this panic attack like thing. She starts laughing like crazy, then she left her body fall. It's weird. He worries about her, because maybe she will die. Who's going to cook for him? -.- He said I'm SOO fecking lazy, why don't I help around? Why can't I ever do ANYTHING? That I never get any exercise. After that he blamed me for HIS stupid mistake, even though he should have listened to what he was suppose to do.How is it fair, that I wake up at 5:30 to go to rugby pratices in the morning, just to have gym right after. Do a bit of academics. Still having to do more after for the phys. ed department & I'm considered LAZY!? He comes home to sleep for like 14 hours straight, then when I take simple one hour quick naps when I'm so tired he says "Why the feck are you sleeping? you don't do anything?" I'm anemic too. So basically, I'm literally dying everyday considering, the following factors. 1) I'm anemic 2) I don't eat alot 3) I'm very sleep deprived 4) How much I work. So like, what the hell? I told him all that nicely, he says "OHH, I work outside everyday, heavy duty. I work out so much." I point out "Okayy? It's your job too. You get paid for that, you know that. Plus, it's only six hours." Okayy, you'd think he'd shut up, no. He replies "So? I still work so hard." I reply "Welll, do you realize I do four hours of work a day?" Ohh, this is the part taht pisses me off the most. "That's not enough." & my mom doesn't say anything, because she agree's with HIM. She yells at me, then I get slapped. Considering she thinks I was disrespecting my elders. They starve me because appearantly, I'm also too fat. If i ignore them it's like "Disrespect?YOU BRAT-SLAPS-" HAPPY HAPPY! Feck this. Thus, I wonder if it really is better to live in foster homes. They don't care. If your cute to them, they'll love you so much.

Girl, You duh horny

                     You know, I realized I think it's shameful for girls to ever admit that they've gotten horny. Have you ever noticed, it's really rare for girls to talk about them getting horny or ever wanted to have sex. When they do/are their called a whore or a slut. It's not like I'm any different, but it's kind of the way were expected to think. Boys are suppose to be horny, dirty, perverted and thinking only about sex. While, girls are suppose to be innocent, wonderful, cute, magical & sweet. Let me be someone & say that is completely untrue. I'm one of the most pervert people you'll know. EVER. Girls, lets me perverts and horny. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all know you secretly are.

Starr

                  I wanna be a rockstar, or a super hero. I wanna see my face on the TV, with my picture on the cover for my friends to see a different side of me. But we'll never get to know, since I'm not famous, since my name is nothing important. Quit your bitchin'. Nobody gives a damn about the day I was born. Lets take a moment of the good life, then chase it down until we fall. Three-hundred and sixty five nights, lets have them all. Drop the calls, lets lose our keys. Nobody cares, I'm not Selena Gomez, since I lost my keys, I'm homeless. Don't worry, 'cause one day I'll be a rockstar, or a superhero. Don't worry friends, this time will end, and I'll be famous. Peircings, nose, from head to toes. Eyeliner, glitter, no need for cheap hoes. Screw fake friends, because I'll bend the rules in the famous world. Bonofied, no need to hide my face from cameras. Screw those hoes, they can blow. Well maybe all I'll do is be myself. Don't worry jerks, nothing hurts. Go to hew.

I turn asian guys on..

Victim Number One;;                 You so didn't read the title wrong. I turn them on. I do. My current boyfriend is asian, vietnamese to be specific. He thinks I'm hawt, sexy, cute, pretty, everything. Okayy, I'm also the first non-asian girl he's ever dated. He's always telling me, he thinks I'm perfect the way I am.

Victim Number Two;;                His best friend.. He checked me out.. told one of my friends i have nice legs.. it was a little..... very...creepy. Cambodian boy..

Victim Three;; My childhood friend's brother, the day he saw me when he came for s visit.. the moment they go home he told her he wanted to date a white girl. I'm not white, but I do see what he's saying.. It was awkward. Vietnamese again.

Victim Four;; Another childhood friend, she told me her brother thinks I'm attractive.. Vietnamese boy. GREAT. NOT! =/

I refer back to my title "I turn asian guys on". Mind you, this was in the past year AND those are the ones I know about atleast.

Him

               "You don't have to wear makeup to look pretty infront of me".. "Just remember you don't need makeup when your with me" Why is he like that sweetest boyfriends ever? He's the first guy who's treated me right. I don't think I could ever do anything to hurt him. Unless it was physical. I bit his ear & said "ow". I asked if he was okay, then he told me "it's fine, as long as it's not hard." To be honest, he's the first guy ever that I'm willing to be caught with. I kiss him on the streets, hold his hand. Why? Honestly & truly, why? He's never said anything mean to me, rude. He's so kind and sweet. It's not even about the way he kisses me.. We've only kissed each other's lips three times in the past month. It's not even french kiss. He hasn't even tried to french kiss me at all. He's such a gentleman. Although, he has said dirty things to me, but their kinda of sexy to be truthful. The way he touches me, it's so innocent. It seems as if he's scared of brake me in half when he puts his arms around me. He's never hit me. EVER. He's wonderful. When we make out, he worries that someone will see us. He's scared FOR me. I love him.

Sad Face

          I feel like crying lately, very depressive. Though I haven't slept in a few days, I don't mind in a few ways. Waist deep in thought because when I'm thinking of Jack. I don't feel so alone. I'll forget the world I knew before I'll ever forget you. Oh if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in his ear, "Darling, I wish you were here." The stars lean down and kiss him, while I lie awake to miss him. I miss your arms around me. My eyes grow brighter, as heavy wings grow brighter. My mouths been bleeding, just imagining you were leading. I'm beening forced into love, it isn't as free as doves. His lips are so sweet, I wish mine could just meet, your under the sky. I miss

Told you so.

                     Okayy, do me a favour and shut up. I hate it that everyone I tell about my realationship with Jack they say "OMIGAWD!! I TOLD YOU IF YOU KEPT TRYING IT'D WORK OUT!!" Like srsly, shut up. You told me to give up. I told me to go look for someone else, so go feck yourselves. You didn't believe it would happen, you never did. All everyone ever told me, he isn't worth it, so give up. He doesn't like you, so give up. HA! Now that I'm dating him you expect me to believe you supported me? NOO! You know what? You suck. So don't come and bullshit with me saying "OMG, I TOLD YOU! DIDN'T I TELL YOU?!"  No, you didn't. You never did, you never believed in me and you really kind of hated him. It's okayy huns, because you know what, he kinda hates all of you. Ironic, isn't it? I'm completely happy, even if it's hard to be with him. I love him, he loves me. We're happy. In two days, I'll have been with him for two full months. So, shut your gob, and don't tell us, you told us we'd be together. Like, why don't you just go to hew and rot. We're inlove, in a rocky love sure. We may not see each other alot, but we love the time we share.

This is hard

                       I never expected it to be this hard to date Jack. He's away in co-op.. I can't go out much.. I miss him ALOT. I like him alot. It takes two to whisper quietly. I watch the sky turn dim, but it's not the same without him. The silence isn't so bad, till I look at my hands 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where his fit perfectly. I spent my day laying down in my room, just crying. I felt lonely, and cold. I just felt empty. The moment I logged on msn a message from my beautiful hero complexed boyfriend came up.. Offline message ofcourse. "i know you want me to fix my computer but i need bunseng to do it. so if you need anything call me 416- ___-____ & don't be afraid to call =D" The moment I was that my eyes cried so much. I miss him so.

I'm crying..

                OHH SHIZ!! I didn't think I'd be crying. I was just talking about childhood days. And why I'm shocked why my boyfirend's going out with me. SHIZ! My mom's in the living room & I'm here too, CRYING!! CRAPS, CRAPS, CRAPS!!  Gosh, this suscks. You know, I was depressed growing up. I was an anorexic little girl with a mushroom haircut. I'd cry in the washroom for five minutes everyday I got home. We didn't get alot too eat. I always wore weird hand-me-down or thrift store clothing. Kelly was my friend because I was a lonely little girl. It saddened me..

               We also talked about why we didn't believe that anyone could like us. It haunted me.. I'm not pretty, I'm soo fat. I wear alot of makeup to cover my flaws up. I don't want to be ugly. Nobody will like me. If I'm too fat, nobody will want me. I'll be to fat for anyone. I got bulemic that way. I'd awya barf after I was sad, but once it got to a point that I'f shove my figners  done my throat because peopel were starign at me. I thought they'd all judge me. I'm still scared of those things. That's why I cry..

Lyrics

                Even though it's a little rushed. Let me know that you'll keep in touch & when you don't it hurts too much. Now that I've gone back to school. All I do is think of you. Sitting up here in my room, going crazy. But then you call gets me through it all. Every time I hear you say. Tell me right now, how it's going down. No, I'm never gonna give you up. I'm never gonna have enough. So now 'til forever, I wish you could stay my baby.
              I always thought I needed time on my own, I never thought that I'd need you there when I cried. As the days feel like years when I'm alone. When you walk away I counted the steps that you take. Peices of my heart are missing you and the face I came to know is missing too. The words I need to hear to make it through the day are missing, okayy? Everything I do, reminds me of you. The things that you left, they lay on the floor. They smell just like you,  I love everything you do. I miss you. All I want to say, just so you know, I give you all my heart and soul.
              I wish we could sit her & pass the time. This is where were suppose to be, sitting by a broken tree. No tragedy, no poetry. Just staring at the sky. I could sit and wait a thousand hours. Stay the same in sun & showers. Picking apart a thousand flowers, just to be quiet. Tell me when you'll feel ready. I'm the one, there's not too many. Hold my hand to keep me steady. Just to be quiet with you. I liek it here, beside you dear. Even more than I appear. In the clouds, my head is clear. Everytiem you say hello. Here's my heart & here's my mouth. I can't help if things come out., because there are words I wanna shout. But I'll say it low.

Couples are depressing.

                 Couples depress me. Yes, I the girl who has a boyfriend is depressed by couples. It's mostly a me big a girl who keep on complaining, but I can't help him considering I like him so much. I'm so weak about this. It bothers me so much.

                    There is Rady & Cindy, the sport couple. It's so adorable to tell the truth, the way they lightly bully each other. Sindy & Johnny, the skipper failing couple.. they're good together, but I don't envy them. Alina & Kim, the hitting couple, very physical kids. Mikey & Amy... they don't look good together, but their personalities do match. Both flirty players. The player couple, I think of them as. Brandon(YES THAT BEACH) & Mairanda... it kinda looks like siblings datings.. gross. But it makes me sad that even HE has someone everyday. The sibling couple.. Kosal & Davi, the SUPER SMART couple. Kyle & Zayda, the musical couple. I love them, their both soo cool. Anh & Ricky, the gay couple. I love their coupleiness. It's SOO cute. <3 Lisa & Johnson.. I hate Lisa... But it's still a couple and they are the immature couple. Aleah & Stephen, moody couple. They fight, then go all lovey dovey, & it's basically like a beach who's pmsing. There is also ____ & ____ which is the funny couple. If you know who they are though. Not most people do.

            Then there was Jack & I. The gay bait, funny, emo-ish, weirdo, barely getting by with grades couple.. It's mostly emo-ish or gay bait though. But we're cool. I love him. I'm just sad I can't spend more time with him. I miss his cute long hair. The way he'd style it.. he kinda had the same style as me. I miss him so. But everything is gonna be okayy.  Everything's gonna be alright. I know that it'll go my way. I'm never gonna give him up. I'll never get enough.  Because now, till forever I stay for my baby.

PeekABoo, I might attempt murder on you..Part Three

Brandon says:

ElizaWhen we were going out.
I didnt mean to anger you.. I honestly don't know what I did.. I really liked you.. I was so nervous to mess things up.. I wanted to see you and I understand your mom wouldn't let you do that stuff.. I just missed you alot.. I honestly don't know if that's what angered you.. I'm sorry for that.. I know i'm obsessive.. But that's because I really like you.. That's all.
And yes I questioned alot of things.. Only because I'm very curious about things.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
yes but you also got angry at me when i woudln't tell you, & if you haven't noticed you don't need to know everyone
- Brandon says:
Eliza.. I wasn't angry at you.. I was angry at the fact you put somone before me. When the situation was about me. I just wanted to know the person because I can't stand when people are like that towards me when i'm not like that towards them.
I didn't mean to anger you on that.. I understand you don't break promises.. The only problem I seen was that how could you make a promise with somone who you fought with.
Which was my main concern.
And I was worried that you made the whole thing up because you didn't want me anymore.. I'm really sorry Eliza.. Those things hurt me alot.. I flip out.. But I was never angry at you.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
yeahh, well maybe you should have thought that before &amp; yuo shoudl get over it, we only knew each other for a little while
- Brandon says:
LOL
Thought of what before.
Honestly.
Nothing changed in the matter.
You just don't understand everything I say and i'm sure what others say to you.
We talk to you.
And you think we're yelling at you.
Or pissed at you.
And trying to piss you off.
But
Your the whole reason the situation rose up
You made a promise not to tell that guys name to me.
ok
But why did you have to tell me what the guy said
You started that problem
You coulda just kept it to yourself
But you didn't
And that's ur problem Eliza.
Not mine.
Your telling me get over it ?
LOL
Mabye you should learn how to be in a relationship before you start talking trash about other ppl.
I miss you yes.
But I miss you for your nice side.
But I guess I should understand it.
I mean
You mom always bitches at you and you hate it.
I guess you get that bitchy side from her.
And yes
I know i sound mean right now
why
Because your fucking rude.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
thanks
& your a fucking asshole
- Brandon says:
Really ?
Cause i'm not the one starting this
You are.
I know it would never happen because that's the way you are.
But
If you were all depressed
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
orly, your the one who won't let a girl go
- Brandon says:
about this
I would be the one
Making sure you felt alright
Not mocking you to your face.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
i'm not depressed, i'm pissed
- Brandon says:
I know
I don't care.
You mock me to my face.
While we're in a relationship
And out.
You act as if your so important and special and i'm nothing and i'm so fucking lucky to of had you.
But in reality.
Your just another stuck up girl.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
thanks, & just like all of my friends said, your the biggest jerk ever
- Brandon says:
haha.
I've never been a jerk to anyone.. atleast this year.
But you.
I'm being a bitch to you.
Because
Your being a bitch to me.
I'm a bitch to anyone that treats me with disrespect I don't deserve.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
i'm a bitch when i'm angry
- Brandon says:
I feel guilty if I do deserve it.
But
If i don't deserve it
I get angry.
Ask anyone that's good friends with me that.
And you have no reason to be angry.
You mocked me
first
You should be the one just like
Who the hell cares.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
then don't fucking talk to me
- Brandon says:
LOL
I know ur thinking to yourself.
This guys a fucking asshole w.e
I'm not ok.
I'm such a frkin nice person.. I'm only nice because of what has happened to me in my past. I hate anger I hate frustration.
And when it comes to me
I hold it in
And I hold it in more
And I build up alot of anger
Then
When somone like you comes along
and treats me like shit
it bursts out.
Mabye instead of watching what I say
You should watch what you say
and be like
wow..
I'm a fucking asshole.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
if you think i'm such a bitch, why the fuck are you stil talking to me
- Brandon says:
Because there's a nice side to you.
And I know there is.
And I want that side to understand this.
And you will act like this to everyone else
If you don't understand this.
Alissa your awesome to talk to when your nice.
Bu
but
You push all your anger out on other ppl about what's happening in your life.
*sigh* just understand this.
None of us are assholes when we're happy.
Nobody is.
Then
When we're frustrated.
Some of us hold it in
And still seem happy
Then some of us put that frustration on others
I seem happy when i'm frustrated
ur angry
and you mock ppl
The point is.
Don't look at all this like it's my fault./
Cus I know.
I'm not stupid
Your gunna go to all your friends and talk shit about what a bitch I am.
Eliza. I want to talk to you when your nice.
You need to relax your anger.
And you need to chill.
We're supposed to be friends.. Just cus we broke up doesn't mean you need to mock me.
- ` Elle.Nerd - Boo! says:
imma let you finish, but shameer had the best break up of all time, of ALL TIME. YOU, sir, can suck a dick and just fuck off.

PeekABoo, I might attempt murder on you..Part Two

- Brandon says:
Hey.
I'm back at my house now.
And Eliza..
Your mine is supposed to be a romantic fraze.
Don't take things so seriously remember ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
-.- finee
- Brandon says:
Why are you so mad ?
I thought you loved me your supposed to be enjoying this lol.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
-.-
- Brett says:
Eliza, I need to know.
Is it because your too shy to hang around me by yourself ?
Is that it ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no
- Brandon  says:
We can hangout with a whole buntch of friends together ?
I don't get it..
I don't get why you only give me an hour to see you LOl.
There has to be a reason...
If your scared I might try something don't be... I won't... what we do is up to you
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, no
Brandon, just leave it Alone, okayy?
- Brandon says:
*sigh*
I can't handle that you give our relationship no time.
The only other thing I can think of..
Unfortunately.
I don't want too.
is that the only reason your dating me is to make someone jealous.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
NO
to make who jealous o___o
- Brandon says:
I dunno Shameer
You act all pissed off at him
and get pissed at me whenever I mention his name
Then
You talk to him more then you talk to me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no o___o
no i don't
- Brandon says:
on facebook -.-
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i talked to him on fb wall to wall once & that's it
just because that was recent doesn't mean anything
- Brandon says:
I just don't understand it.
And your making me question too much
and all your telling me is nothing
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
because there IS nothing too it
- Brandon says:
There obviously is.
Any normal person that is going out with a guy wants to see them so much
You act like you don't want to see me unless you feel like it.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
-.- Brandon , your making a big deal out of nothing
there is nothing wrong
- Brandon says:
It's a big deal to me ok.
I know you don't care oh whatever I don't mind if i get to see him or not. I'll just do my own thing
But to me
I want to see you
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i can’t go out with you Alone because my mom would kill me, at least when I’m with a group i can LIE
- Brandon says:
And it's frking killing me
You can lie omg.
Everyone does..
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i can't lie
shek no
**she know s
- Brandon says:
Then say your going with a group..
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
she'll know i'm not
shej ust know s
- Brandon says:
Then how will we ever spend time togeather huh ?
How
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
idk
- Brandon says:
I knew you would say that.
Why did you say yes to me?
To make me miserable?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no
because i like you
- Brandon says:
Like and want to be with are two different things.
You could of still said no and liked me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
your acting like you want ot brake up with me
-  Brandon says:
YOUR ACTING LIKE YOU WANT ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU!!
If you want me too ask me!
And then give me a reason why.
And tell me the goddamn truth on why you used me!
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
I'M NOT USING YOU
- Brandon says:
Eliza
Look at how you talk to me.
Watch other couples.
Do they stay distant from each other ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
just because i'm not always with you doesn't mean i'm distant
- Brandon says:
Tell me if your nervous to be around me
Tell me the truth
I honestly don't care what the truth is.
You can't possibly hurt me more anyways
Are you scared i'm going to try to do something to you.
Tell me the truth
I would understand!
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no i'm not
- Brandon says:
I honestly don't understand.
What about Tuesday, How does that make it different.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i like you, alot, okayy? i try to spend time with you, you know, i try.
...what?
- Brett says:
How are you able to come out and be with me for an hour on tuesday.
What is so special about that day ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
because i have to go somewhere else that day
- Brett says:
Eliza
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i'll just leave early
- Brandon says:
I know you don't want too.
But I think the best solution is for me to meet your mom and get to know her... atleast i could make a good impression and she would be like ok I trust him to date Eliza.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
Brandon, your not meet her
at all
ever
never
i'll go out with you
okayy?
ibb barf
back
- Brandon says:
*sigh* welcome back.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i love you (:
even if i swear you kill me
- Brandon says:
I dropped my guitar pick .
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
aww ):
my head hurts
i barfed out the only food i'm getting today
- Brandon says:
Let me take you out to eat then now ?
Just say your eating food with a friend.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, it's okayy, to lazy xD ): &amp; i'm not trying to avoid you
- Brandon says:
I will pick you up in front of your building.. We can just talk and walk...
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
):
- Brandon says:
No lazyness needed.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
please don't
- Brandon says:
You won't even focus on that..
Please Eliza..
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
please Brandon
- Brandon says:
Your not doing anything now.
I'm begging you.
You can't beg me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
Brandon
i just can't
- Brandon says:
Yes.
You can.
If you want too.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
):
Brandon
- Brandon says:
Please
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
Brandon ):
- Brandon says:
Eliza
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
):
- Brandon says:
Please..

- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
not today, please
- Brandon  says:
yes today.
You need food
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, i have patty in freezer
- Brandon says:
no
No patties.
Lol
Please Eliza!!
- ` [i]E3lle...l3ees-ahh[/i].Nerdy Hippie - Boo! says:
):
Brandon
leave it please
- Brandon says:
no
I will not
Because I care about you and I miss you and i want too see you... if you did the same you would stop being stubborn and say yes.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
ibb barf again
nvm, i'm done
- Brandon says:
*sigh* I really like you Eliza
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
I do to. You know, this is what pisses me off, we met each other at the end of the school year
- Brandon says:
I know.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
& you're so cute & funny
- Brandon says:
I can't do it......I'm really emotional to this stuff....I cannot handle seeing youfor an hour every week....omg I wanna go kill myself now.... We can try again...Maybe when we can see each other more..But for now...I really just want to be your friends....That way I don't have to constantly think about this... I know I don't deserve to be your friend....Please Eliza
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
...so, does that mean?
- Brandon says:
Yes...:(
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
...
- Brandon says:
fml.
Can we stay friends Eliza please ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
yeahh
- Brandon says:
... Thank you..
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
okayy

PeekABoo, I might attempt murder on you..

So, earlier I had a rant about Brandon, that man slut. I found some message history between us a couple of minutes ago. Stupid beach

- Brandon says:
I don't know, Mabye our date on thursday will take your mind off things ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i don't even feel like going out
- Brandon says:
with me ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
at all
- Brandon says:
ouch..
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
:/ sorry
- Brandon  says:
Aslong as your happy , We can still be friends though ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
-.-
- Brandon says:
??

- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
remember i'm angry at them?
- Brandon says:
I know your angry at them.
And I understand your breaking up with me I don't care what you do aslong as you can be happy.. I know your not happy right now but do what you think is right until you are .
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i'm breaking up with you? o___o
- Brandon says:
You just said you don't feel like going out at all with me
-.-
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i mean outside

- Brandon says:
LOL
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
your smart
- Brandon says:
not really :*

How could we keep dating if you don't want to go out at all lol ?
I don't understand ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
idk
i'll feel like going out sooner or later
just not now
- Brandon says:
So we're going out but not going out ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
umm...sure?
- Brandon says:
...why not just break up with me ?
I'm used to it, Won't hurt me more then what you just said to me.
Your trying to make it gentle.
When i don't care how you do it.
I really like you and even if we're not going out and you don't want to anymore we can still be friends.
It's up to you if you don't want to be friends but I would not understand that.
And if you think that not going out with somone while still going out with somone is even possible.
Mabye your not ready for a relationship at all.
Break up with me then.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
o____o dude, your make me confused
- Brandon says:
I'm more confused then you right now.
Trust me.
Relationships are supposed to be about seeing each other.
I can't handle going a week or for weeks without seeing you.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
-.-
-   Brandon says:
Eliza.
I like you too much.
If were still "going out" i'm going to want to see you.
But if you don't want to see me.
It doesn't work.
And I won't break up with you because I don't want too. I still want you ... alot.
But
If you don't feel the same
Break up with me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i do feel the same, i jsut don't feel like going out right now
- Brandon says:
Ok so were not in a relationship now we're in a relationship when you feel like it ?
it's like saying
Oh
I'm sorry I just need time it's not you it's me blah blah blah blah
It's the exact same thing as breaking up with somone Eliza.
Just do it.
And in the future
If you get over these issues
Then you can be like ok
let's go out again
But for now.
It's just like saying let's see other people.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
fuck, your making me cry, can you shuddup?
- Brandon says:
Really cus i've been crying.
*sigh*
Just say the words.
I'm used to it don't make it gentle.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
bradd, srsly, i don't want ot brake up but, your making it seem like you want too
- Brandon says:
Eliza, I want to see you, I want to be with you and more importantly I want to talk to you.
That's how relationships work.
You don't want to do any of those things.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
I DO WANT TO TALK TO YOU
- Brandon says:
What about seeing me ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
...
ibb'
- Brandon says:
Exactly.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
do you really wanna know why i'm angry?
- Brandon says:
Yes.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i got into a fight with someone about what you
happy?
- Brandon says:
?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
because i'm not
- Brandon says:
about what I what ?
I'm not happy unless your happy and when your happy i'm not going to be happy until I know what happened.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
someone said you told them that you were at your cousin's house to teach her a listen, but YOU told me that she changed the locks. Some else also told me that you are a liar & full of yourself, THAT'S WHY IM' MAD
- Brandon says:
*sigh*
If you tell me these things in the beggining it's alot easier
But no
Always gotta make it complicated.
I got angry at my aunt
Then started to stay at my cousins
After the night
The next morning
I started to think it through more
So
I wanted to go apologize to my aunt
And make up
I went to the house
the locks were changed.
So I went to my other cousins
That's when I messaged you on msn and was talking to you
My aunt before I was talking to you
Told me that she didn't want me back into the house
But the only reason she said that was because her ex boyfriend was in her ear and telling her all this
Once her ex boyfriend left the house she phoned me and said she'd give me a chance if she talked to me and I went to the trailer with her this weekend
So I got home at 10 pm and talked to her for an hour
Then madeup
Then today she said i don't have to go to the trailer if i don't wan toto.
want too*
And that's the full story.
And now she's gone to the trailer
And i'm home alone

- Brandon just sent you a nudge.

- Brandon says:
Happy ?
Who was it that said i'm a liar ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
someone
- Brett says:
Eliza we're not going to get over this unless you tell me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
well, i'm NOT allowed to tell
- Brandon says:
Well arn't you angry at that person
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
that's the thing with me, if i promise something i can't say anything
- Brandon says:
I won't even talk to the person
I just want to know
know
Because i'm not going to continue being friends with someone who would do this to me
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
well, i promised
- Brandon says:
Fine.
Your going to make me stay friends with somone who went at me like this.
You honestly think that's fair ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3ees-ahh[/i].Nerdy Hippie - Boo! says:
-.- Brandon , leave it Alone okayy?
my problem
- Brandon says:
No
Not your problem
Not in the least bit
It's my problem
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, it's MY problem
- Brandon says:
If it was your problem I wouldn't be crying right now would I ?!
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
it's not your fault so you shouldn't be crying
it's mine because they got mad at me
- Brandon says:
Eliza, What that person said made you not want to go on our date anymore
That makes it my problem
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
it didn't make me want to go out with you
it pisses me off enough to NOT want to live my apt
AT ALL
- Brandon says:
huh ?
That makes no sense.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
GOD! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY PLACE AT ALL
- Brandon says:
Because of this person ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
because of that person &amp; things, other things too, just leave ti
- Brandon says:
Tell me the person
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no
- Brandon says:
Eliza let me handle it!
I will fix it.
Somtimes
You can't be stubborn
I understand a secret once in awile
But this is more then that
When you shittalk somone behind their backs.
Expect to be told off
I'm giving you two options right now Eliza.
Tell me
Or break up with me
One or the other.
If you care about me you'll tell me
And stop being stubborn and tell me
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, why do i have to stop?
why don't you?
- Brandon says:
Because I don't want to stop.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
do you think maybe i don't want to either?
- Brandon says:
if you didn't you'd try to make this whole thing better and the past.
you obviously can't deal with it.
SO let me deal with it
That's what i'm here for.
It'd be the same deal if it was the other way around.
I know you don't trust me, But trust me enough to solve this.
Cus if your scared to leave your place.
It makes it sound like your being threatened by this person
Tell me what this person told you to want to not leave the apt and tell me who this person is. I'll act on whatever is the safest for you and for me. And i'll try to get the problem dealt with without any violence.
Just tell me
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
IM' NOT SCARED TO LEAVE MY PLACE
I DON'T WANT TOO
- Brandon says:
TELL ME THE PERSON'S NAME !
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
NO
- Brandon says:
)':

- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
how do you think i feel?
- Brandon says:
BETTER THEN ME!!
This person isnt shit talking you
This person is shit talking ME!
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no, their talking shiz about someone i care about
- Brandon says:
But that someone is Me
if you know
I should know.
I honestly don't deserve this.
I'm nice to everyone and the only reason I could think of that they'd be saying all this about me
Is their jealous of us.
And if that's so
They can do a lot worse.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i don't care what they do, god. just leave it Alone, i'm dealing with you
i can deal with it on my own
- Brandon says:
Is it Shameer ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no
- Brandon says:
*sigh*
I want to see you Eliza though !!!
Why can't you leave your place just a little.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
would you be happy, if i did just a little?
- Brandon says:
I would be happier if I seen you a lot but I would rather see you every once in awhile then not at all.
And i'd rather you not cancel our date.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
well, ermm....one other problem
about that
- Brandon says:
?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
so, it's the day after my surgery
thus i can't talk, nor kiss
- Brandon says:
Let's do the date earlier then ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i can't ):
busy weekends
- Brandon says:
Fine I don't care if you can't talk or kiss. I just want to see you Eliza... Thats it we can still do our date but we will just be with each other.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
cant i hang out with you for an hour?
just you &  me?
- Brandon says:
On thursday ?
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
Tuesday
- Brandon says:
Yes.
I would like that a lot more then not seeing each other.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
okay
umm..i just need to find out what time i have to go somewhere
- Brandon says:
Yup..
I would really like it if you told me still tho.. I promise to you I won't say anything to them.
I just want to know who not to be friends with anymore.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i can't
i promised
- Brandon says:
a please for me, Your only breaking a promise if it goes everywere.
I'm your boyfriend you should be able to tell me.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i can't, its' a promise- Brandon says:
Eliza, this person can do worse.
What if I don't know who this person is
I vent to that person
That person goes at you again
and then again
I don't want to be friends with that person.
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
i don't care if they do worse, okayy? let me handle MY problem with people
i can
- Brandon says:
Eliza I beg you...
Just a name
- ` [i]E3lle...l3hiss-ahh[/i].Nerd - Boo! says:
no Brandon, just think about something else
please
- Brandon says:
I can't .
I hate being betrayed like this.Let me just point out I had NO idea want was happening during alot of that convo. I feel sick right now. :/



Ohh how I feel like running him over with a tractor right about ... ANYTIME IT'S NOT ILLEGAL 8D

Bubble Gum Sunshine Rainbows

   Okayy you beaches. I want this hair cut.. OMFG! LAWLZ, I called you beaches. No, no, You're not guys. If pretty cool if you read my blog. 8D And for taht i owe a thanks. But I'm srsly in love with this haircut. <33 So hot. Idk, I like scene style. It unique aroudn here. i lvie in Jane & Finch. In Toronto. In Ontario.. WHICH IS IN MY BELOVED FREE HEALTH CARE CANADA!! Loverly. It's crazy and wonderful. But my hair right now, is appearnatly pretty crazy. It's unitoned in Black-Brown.. Ugly colour.. -barf- Yep. I hate the colour to tell the truth. I want Lilac, Aqua, Bubble Gum & Sunshine. Or maybe, Sunshine on the bottom layer and bronze on the top part. It'd be pretty hot.. But it could just be me. I'm so crazy about colours. My boyfriend on the other hand.. Umm.. He lives off of Black, White, & Blue.. I think he has a purple dress shrit though.. It's sexy on him. C: I'm a perv.. hehehe. <33 But it's fun.

              You know, I think Ke$ha's style is like SOO hot too. Stockings, ripped man shirt, blue jean shorts, and some big cool necklace. I did that when I went for a date... MINUS the ripped & necklace part.. >__> I looked kind of gay D= I have no boobs to pull of taht style so it was a MAJOR fail. You know, I HATE blonde girls.. but I kind of secretly want to be blonde too. Maybe it's jealousy. I can't tell truth be told. I just HATE them

I'd so do taht to my hair if my friends wouldn't attepmt to murder the crap out of me if I did.. But NOO, NO BLONDE.. But I don't allow them to do blodne either, so it's fair.. But if I went to a white school, I SO WOULD! But no, black fulled school. It's fine. (y) Totally cool. I WANT BUBBLE GUM SHINESUN AQUA HAIR!! OMIGAWD!!! So sex'd. i swear.

Pet Peeves

                       I swear, I'm like so annoyed sometimes, IDK why, maybe it's because I'm a beach. OHH WELL!! Who cares?...Wait, I do. i piss myself off. Anyways, on to my pet peeves. The the though came up when my friend, Nana took my skeatch  in Health care. I got really angry. I usually don't get angy, I'm pretty calm about everything to tell the truth. I mess around alot. So far I only have trhee known pet peeves.

                  Number One;; DUDE!??! HE STOLE MY DRAWING BOOK!! Okayy, yeahh, nto a big deal, but honestly, I HATE THE FACT HE TOOK IT WITHOUT ASKING! Like I'm pretty cool when anybody takes anyting as long as you tell me. You don't take anything withotu telling me. I WILL SLAP YOU!

                  Number Two;; When you do something wrong and say sorry. I reply "it's okay", very monotone an quitely. So when some people don't hear it because you know what, their deaf. Anyways, the get angry at at & say "why are you pmsing" but how am I pmsing? I get angry because you think I'm angry. YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHO I AM! Gosh, angers me.

                  Number Three;; Standing over my shoulder.. It's just like Duh Hew!? Why do you feel the need to stand over my shoulder? Why MSUT you have the knowlegde of what I'm doing? I understand I am not a fully developed child, but I do not need babying.

            Stupid peopel in life pretty much suck. -sigh-

Duh Brownie..

              Okayy, lets consider Brownie as my first love. His name is Shameer... but I like Brownie better. Currently, I think he's depressed. I'm pretty sure he has a thing for his best friend's girl too. MIGHT be having a fling, who knows really? Anyways, lets talk about my first "us"

             Let me, just say, he is a JERK ARSEHOLE BITCH SLUT MAN! Okayy, I'm glad we cleared that up. He didn't even ask me out okayy? He asked my friends to help him get on a "date with me" They just went to a packed movie and found a 3 person place, whiel him and i had to find a two person place. We kissed during the movie.. because that's what you do in a movie.. EVEN IF IT'S FULL OF KIDS! If they don't want to see it, don't look at us.After the first three months, his roots of pure arsehole-ness were getting exposed. We fought, he called me ugly and fat. That bitch. He told me my good friend (Anna Ma) was a bitch, and she was fat and ugly. How nice. In the 5th & 6th month, I jsut stopped caring and wanted to be with my friends. I didn't want to brake his heart.. We've dated before, but he broke my heart.. Because he never liked me at the time. Back to the story. I basically didn't want to be with him anymore because he angered me SOO much. On the 6th month, he left a letter in my locker... NOO, HE DIDN'T!! But, oh yes he did.. He broke up with in..IN A LETTER!?!/ THAT'S WORSE THEN A TEXT OR OVER MSN(Which Brandon did too me). Continuing. HE TOOK MY FRIEND TO DATE A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY AND BROKE UP WITH HER THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY! She says sorry all the time about not beign there, but honestly, it's cool. She liked him. Anything for love.. i guess. It's more like I was mad at him. He's so annoying. Want to stab him. BACK TO MY STORY.. He so otally likes his best friend's girl. This is just from rumors, BUT I did hear he kissed her not to long ago. Poor baby is gonna get hurt. Honestly, I don't see what everyone sees in him. I only dated him because seemed good to me.. AT THE TIME. I will stabby stabby him one day.. One day. Anyways, the end about complaining bout that beach.

Chuu annoy me

                I really shouldn't let it get to me, but I hate that my exboyfriend Brandon touches & feels up my friend Marinda. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like him. I even asked our friend Justine and Justine told me "No, Brandon likes her and Marinda doesn't know what to do." I can't blame her considering he's like forcing himself on her. I believe they are currently dating, but she's not into him. It's only because he keeps forcing himself towards her. It's SOO annoying.

                Another thing, I remember when we were dating, he was taking it WAYY too fast. He kissed me the day after he askes me out. Not even like peck kiss, like full on french kiss. ARG!! What duh hew is that? Pissing me off. He also said to me he doesn't think girls should have short hair because their girls. DUH HEW!? So fecking annoying. When he broke up with me, it was for many factors. Such as "I SAW YOU TALKING TO SHAMEER OVER FACEBOOK", "YOU CHEATING", "YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME BECAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE ME", " YOUR NOT READY FOR A REALATIONSHIP", "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME MEET YOUR PARENTS" & etc.

       Firstly, I was talking to Shameer (my first [ex]boyfriend) because HE messaged me & I was sacistically talking to him. Secondly, I was NEVER cheating on him, that bitch. He's just so jealous because I COULDN'T spend time with him. Thirdly, I COULDN'T go out with him the date he wanted to go out because I had sugery the day before.. I was still high off meds that day too. -__- Fourthly, I'M NOT READY FOR A REALATIONSHIP!!??!? Dude, My last realationship before him was 6 months long, my current one is about to be one month. I can keep them, you're just being a cry baby about me have strick parents, so like STFU, kayy?Not only that but you accused me of CHEATING?! I don't cheat, I break up & date someone else, hun. Fifthly, I won't let you meet my parents because A) not suppose to be dating you(OR ANYONE ELSE)...B)Meet the parents is for like after two years of dating or so...C) Does it look like I want to die in a ditch bleeding to death (referring to A)..

            Now do the world a favour Brandon STFU and take your big nose to go rape strippers(considering his mom's one) with that crappy singing voice. Kayy, hun? C:

Slutty Nerd

                   Okayy, okayy. Does it make me a bad person if I kind of want to look slutty, but nerdy? Like, I'm not sure why, but I want have some sex appeal. It sickens me that I look like a little kid. No matter how had I try, I have NO sex appeal what so ever. Unless someone has a pedophile fetish, I'm not sexy. Like I see pictures, of girls with shirt and things, yet when  I attempt to do that myself, I look like a kid. I have the chubby stomach and hips, the round face, wide eyes, chubby nose. This is the odd part, My waist is 26 inch around, BUT around my stomach I'm 36 inches AND around my ass is 40 inches, and my chest is 30 inches.. What the hell is THAT?! I'm like a preteen on the top and a fatty on the bottom. I need to lose my love handles. I need to lose weight all in total. I'm in the rugby team and I take gym. I'm 115 pounds, and 5 feet tall. I HAVE to lose weight. I'm not kidding.

Stay my baby.. in the kitchen

   He's kinda pretty, isn't he? Sort of looks like a monkey though. C: But ya know, I do love him, which is kinda disgusting. I should hate him, although I don't. His hair isn't orange anymore, or in that style either. It was my friend, Lily's birthday "party" if you will yestarday. I missed out on it, due to chemical treatment. Which sucks bad. Anyhow, I drew a picture of "myself" so I could be there.. KINDA! shh. It sounded smart at the time. SO they took this photo with him and the picture. It was sex, I have to admit.. <3 TOTAL LOVE! hehe. I had to add that picture of this post. His face makes me smile. Along with his out of uniform, he looks really sexy.. -COUGH- umm... it's true. I just want to push him up agaisnt the wall and kiss him without a sound. YEAHH.. Not trying to sound horny.  But it was sweet that he really did take a photobooth picture with "pocket me". I wish my baby would stay. I do love him.

            I just noticed, my past couple of posts are like me beign all annoying and sad about missing Jacky. My Hero Complexed boyfriend.. I miss that bitch, WAYY too much. You know what I really miss? BURGER KING, TACO BELL AND AND HOT SAUCE!! Man, I love hot sauce. It's so yummy in my tummy. Currently, I'm starving, and feel like stuffing my mouth full of chocolate and strawberries. Maybe some cheesecake. I'm ALWAYS open for cheesecake. I'm tempted in engulfing my own mother for a source of food. I think she could fill me, I hope. OMFJ!! MAN!! DUDE!! I FOUND STRAWBERRY NESQUIK IN THE KITCHEN!! Okayy, I think I will take a trip TO TEH KITCHEN again. Lovely.

Lisa Le

               Lets speak of the ledgendly bitch fit of Lisa Le & I...

                             Once upon a a late October day in 2006, a small quite little girl was sitting by herself. At the time, she seemed innocent. Looks are so not the truth. Her name was Lisa Le. I walked up to her to befriend her. I wasn't popular or anything, so what do I have to lose. For a while, I had a friend.. For a while, everything felt nice. I played gaia online alot, so one day I wrote "I wish I had better friends"(gaia friends). Ofcourse I didn't mean real friends, they were great. My so called "Best friend" told Lisa and our other friend Ekta about it. They all hated me, making my life horrid. Every lunch they'd follow me around to make me cry. Everday after school, Christine and Lisa was stalk me home to bully me. After months, they FINALLY gave up on this hating me thing. It was about in May of 2007.. I didn't trust it.

               Zero-Eight rolled around and everything was fine. Everything was wonderful. It went back to almost normal, except Christine wasn't apart of my life anymore. Wonderful, I thought atleast. Lisa again started to hate me, very much because of appearnatly what I said. Fantastic, truly. So once again she hated on me, it was for a good month. Then after taht month she said she forgave me for what I said. I didn't know what I said but I thought I was a horrible person. The summer of that year was wonderful, it was fun.

                In September of 08 was when we finally got into High School. In October, I first saw Jack Nguyen. Jack was so cute. He was the image of a teen Elle Lawliet. Love at first sight, okayy? I wanted him, so much. I knew I wouldn't get him, atleast not yet. In December, he confessed to Lisa that he had affection for her. She rejected him "for me", appearnatly. He kissed her a couple of times trying to get to like him back. She had a chance, I didn't. So I lied to her telling her I didn't like him anymore. HUGE LIE! The next day over msn, she told me that she said yes to dating him. I was SOO angry that she lied to me about liking him. I told our mutual friend Danica. She told Lisa that I was angry about her lying about liking Jack. Felt like stabbing her face after. We got into a fight about it. We fought & fought for a month and a half after. We finished fighting a while after she broke up with him. She knew I didn't mind if she liked him. She knew I cared more about her, then myself. We fixed our friendship. I thought.

                    In grade ten, we had small minor fights with each other. Never anything big. In between the summer, we didn't really talk. A week before school started, she asked me to see if we had classes together. Once back in school two weeks after school started, she ignored me. She hated me.. She still hates me. She won't let anyone tell me why, even my own boyfriend tell me. Great, just great. (y)

It sucks alone

               I act like I don't need you because I'm scared of being needy. No one said that this would be easy, it isn't like our bond is broken, but consider it may need some mending. Until now, I always got along by my own, why should I feel so alone? Now it chills me to the bone. How can I get you alone? I'm weak and it shows, yet you're the only one who knows. What's the point of having time, if I'm nto there to help you spend it? I hear the ticking from my clock, I'm lying here and the room's pitch dark. I wonder where you are tonight. The night passes by neverendingly slow. It's so frustrating. You know that I shouldn't be dating. No matter where I go or what I do, it sucks because I wanna be with you. You're not the type that I should be dating, but really, who's hating? I'm gonan brake the rules to keep the boy mine. It sucks, even if I am with you.

Love and mishaps

               Honey, I miss you..

              Love's a weird thing. Usually oppisite sexes, but sometimes the same. I'm cool with it. Just don't hit on me, or my boyfriend.. we're known as the "gaybaits" of the group. I guess we must be multiculturally pretty? Anyways, I remember when I first set my eyes on my honey, he was so extremely cute to me. "It was love at first sight", then he became "the reason for the teardrops on my guitar", as time past I let him in. Now I miss him. I really do care about him.

             Today was a crap day and I had no one to cry on. Nobody even knew I needed to cry my eyes out. I miss you so much, it's a mishap. Honestly, I spent half an hour crying in the school wahrooms. It's not like I'm gonig to tell you anyways, I never did.. You just always knew. You knew, what yuo saw wasn't all you got yet you liked me anyways. I have backage and so do you, that's what makes us understand each other. Your lips taste like metal and blood, jsut like my own, but yours are sweet and I crave them when I see you. Ilove the way you cup my head so you can pull me up towards yourself. You were funny.. I saw you last on Wedsnday, but it seems so long ago. You told me to say hi to Alina, your ex.... Why spefically her? You, you pushed me away.. you made me feel cold an lonely. My clothes were soaked today, so I felt the same way inside and out of my body.. Shivers and tears leak from my eyes, not jsut because of you, or the way you treated me, it's because I miss you. My days arebad, I feel like passing out lately. I don't want to tell you, but I think I'm gonna start that eating problem again. I'm not going to tell you. I know I won't. I'll try to make sure you don't find out either, Idon't want you too. Lovely..

              Sweety, I want you.

P.S.: I love you